In a family life, every individual plays his or her role to make things run smoothly. The role this individual has to play is governed by rules laid down in the Holy Quran and shown to us by the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam. In the Quran, Allah Taa'la says:
“Verily, there is a perfect example for you in the Messenger for that person who is hopeful of Allah and the Last Day and he remembers Allah abundantly.”
(Surah Ahzab: 21)
It does not matter if it is the father, the mother, the son or the daughter, for each one of them is guidance and a brilliant example to follow in the life of the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam. The role of the father starts right at the beginning of fatherhood. His job is to deny access to all the haraam things flowing in our society from reaching his family. This includes feeding his family with halal food and keeping them away from all types of haraam entertainment like television etc. He is encouraged to treat his wife in an excellent manner. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam has said:
“The best of you are those that treat their wives the best”.
Now a person can walk about in public and be nice to people and people may have a good opinion about him, that he is very pious etc, but at home he is a monster to his wife and she lives in fear of him. From the Hadith mentioned, we know that the best person to judge a man is his wife because if he is good to her, then she will mention it.
The father should earn halal money and make sure that all his dealings are Islamically correct. He should avoid all types of interest dealings as much as possible. As soon as a person becomes involved in the smallest amount of interest dealings, the blessings are taken out of his earnings and Allah Taa'la becomes angry with him. This has a negative effect on their whole household, which results in arguments with his wife and disobedience on the part of the children.
Another duty of the father is to Islamically educate all the members of his family. Secular education is also very important but this will help the child in a limited manner during his life. Islamic knowledge will help him live his life like a true human being every day. This will teach him the respect of his parents, elders and teachers. It will show him how to treat his youngsters and other family members. If the father deprives his family of Islamic education, then they become involved in haram, and then they are disobedient then he can only blame himself.
The mother should recognise her role in the family. It is her job to please the husband and she plays an important part in creating a loving and caring environment in the house. She should be very vigilant in the nurturing of the children by attending to them according to the type of year and according to the age of the child. Due to her attention and care, the children will grow up to be upright and pious. They will be obedient and have excellent manners. The children, as they grow older, should show great respect for the parents. They should not speak to them harshly nor should they unnecessarily disobey them. This matter of obedience goes two ways; when the parents are fair and just to their children and they themselves have an honest and upright character, they will be listened to. Otherwise, disobedience will erupt amongst members in the family. The children should also stay away from bad company as this will, without a shadow of doubt, destroy the character of the individual and result in them falling short of their aims. If everyone plays their part correctly in the family and helps in the correction of others who are not fulfilling their part, then this family will become what is described in the Quran as “The coolness of the eyes” for the father, things will run smoothly Inshallah.