Question: I recently married and my husband has on several occasions had intercourse with me during my menses. Despite my refusal he still would not listen, due to which I am greatly distressed. I am also greatly concerned about the future because I am sure he would do the same. I would like to ask you, that if he attempts to do so again, do I have the right to forcefully stop him or not? Will I be sinful for not doing so?
Answer From: Hazrat Moulana Mufti Nazeer Ahmed Qasmi – Head Mufti, Darul Uloom Rahimiya, Bandipora, Kashmir:
In the state of menstruation, it is permissible for the husband and wife to lay together, kissing and caressing is also allowed. However, to fulfil ones desires to the extent of having intercourse is strictly prohibited. It is also mentioned in the Holy Qur’an:
“O Muhammed, they ask you concerning menstruation. Say: it is an impurity, so keep away from women in their menstruation and do not approach them till they are purified.” (Surah Baqarah)
In a Hadith, the Prophet has mentioned:
“That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating or that person who has intercourse in the unnatural place (anus) or that person who goes to a fortune teller, he has refuted that religion which has been revealed to me.” (Tirmizhi)
Therefore in light of the Qur’an and Hadith, to have intercourse during menstruation in not only strictly prohibited, but a major sin. It has been mentioned in another Hadith:
“That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating should give half a dinar in charity.” (Tirmizhi)
In our terms fifty pence or something to its value.
Furthermore, intercourse during menstruation for both man and woman results in many severe illnesses. This fact has been acknowledged by doctors past and present.
If the Husband in an uncontrollable desire forces his wife to have intercourse even though she is menstruating, it is obligatory for her to refuse. If she does not do so, she will also be sinful. If the woman refuses despite the insistence of her husband, she will not be sinful, rather she will be rewarded for abstaining from sin and causing her husband to do so too. From those sins which Islam has classified as ‘major’, one of them is having sexual relations in the state of menstruation. If the husband due to his overriding passions finds it difficult to control himself then during the days of menstruation, separate sleeping arrangements should be made. Furthermore, both parties should continue to repent for this sin thus far.